somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Let's paint friendship bongs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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