Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
