So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize