I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
