he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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