I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
True strength comes from lack of pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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