is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
