if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
