The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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