I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
