All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is wine microwaveable?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
