Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
