It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
