If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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