Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
