We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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