I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The adults are the big ones right?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
