Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
