I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
worst night to have a conscience
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
