he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this just has baby written all over it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I believe in your delicious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
