Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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