he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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