It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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