You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
then he tried to convert me to islam
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
