That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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