In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
