I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
