I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
