Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So much rum. So many feels.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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