I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
