I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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