Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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