I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
