it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cannot find my penis.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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