Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
