I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
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I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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