it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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