is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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