I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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