I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
