just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
