ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
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Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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