Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
