So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
