Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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