he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
