Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We're too hungover to prance.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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