think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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