the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
