Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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