Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
