He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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