The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
