Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
accomplished twins. life is a go
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
