I'm going to jail i love you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
