i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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