The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
