fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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