If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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