Your tits are I can't wait for
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
