i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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