I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
