I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
3 2 1 whiskey
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Shame - the story of my life.
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