my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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