I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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