I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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