hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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