I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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