im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
