I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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