Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
